You’ve probably heard of Chinglish (中式英语 zhōngshì yīngwén) – a mostly unflattering label for English with a Chinese flavor, either influenced by the expressive habits of the Chinese language or simply translated amusingly to oddly. One sometimes encounters it on signs, menus or posters in the Middle Kingdom or hears it, for example, among street vendors and service personnel in conversation with long-nosed tourists. But if you feel like lolling around in the bath of foreign-language arrogance in the face of some grotesque word blossoms, just imagine for a moment that Hinz and Kunz in Germany were to make the daring attempt to translate various (gender-appropriate) information leaflets or hipster café product labels into Chinese. The road to „Gernese“ or „German“ would certainly not be far.